Okay. I've spent a week hiding out at an undisclosed location in the
Oregonian hinterlands, mending dented promises and waiting for my words
to grow back. Now the results are in: Oregon is officially better than
you.
Don't feel bad. It's better than me, too. It's full of
organic free-range buses, user-friendly temperatures, and Jennie Komp
does baked goods drone-strikes on the weekly. Plus, the Willamette Writers have a safehouse and a distribution network in every city. Orit Ofri and her Salem WW crew will bring cookies and graciously overlook your catastrophically terrible humor. Valerie Ozgenc and the Eugene WW team will wine, dine and recline you at first sight. And Kate Ristau's
Portland WW people... well, I guess you and I are gonna have to find
out together, cuz I'll be doing "Auntie M's Guide to Greaseless Self-Promotion" there on the 6th. (You should go. It'll be rad.)
In the meantime, I will grudgingly consent to depart Oregon for this
so-called "Montana", if there is any such thing, and bestow my presence
upon MisCon in Missoula. (Apparently the town's original name was
Hellgate. I'm still not convinced the whole thing isn't a geographical
snipe-hunt.)
BUT THEN I am ripping RIGHT back down to Eugene, because the heartbreakingly divine people at Wordcrafters In Eugene
are having me on to present their Master Class Retreat from June 1st to
June 4th. Yes. Correct. You and me and a select few other of Earth's
most intrepid hero-scribes, forsaking the mundane world to spend four
days working microliterary miracles in the Word Alchemy Lab. Your prose
will not be polished. It will be dissected, atomized, and reborn. There
are three seats left, six days remaining, and one under-the-hat promise
from me to you: if you do sign up for this, I will read your manuscript
beforehand. (Yes, the whole thing. I do epic fantasy. Your word count
does not scare me.) We will talk about it together, one on one. And I
will not make you cry.
SO. Texas friends: hold that fort.
Northwesternauts: I think you know what to do.
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